This is going to sound weird, but that’s okay.  Sometimes I feel as if my spirit, who I really am, is trapped deep down inside me unable to surface.  Huh?  Yeah, I know. Sounds strange to me too.  I feel like I am capable of being so much more than what I am letting myself be. {I am not, in any way, talking about my potential as a Christian or about my role in God’s kingdom.  Although usually that is what Christian’s mean when they say they are not living up to their own potential.} <–(I really like the way these brackets look!)   anyway.  This is just me.  I really, really limit myself.  Then I get inspired.  Go at it for a while.  Then I guess just get lazy again.  I feel like an artist trapped in a dark room.  Okay, I have no idea where that came from, but whatever.  I’m trying to soul search here.  So anyway. I feel like I have so much inspiration and creativity stored inside of me, but can’t don’t know how to let it out.  Stupid stuff.  Decorating. Journaling.  Photography.  Cooking. I think I am a smart girl.  I have a lot going for me.  I think, though, that being in this awkward place {back in CC, living with my parent, carless aka. stuck at home doing nothing} has really put a damper on my spirit.  I just want to be able to create.  To inspire {myself or others}. Not only to dream, but to envision.  I need someone in my life to inspire me — in a different way than Stephen does.  I don’t know. Maybe it’s a girl thing.  I would love to have a girl in my life right now that I could call a best friend.  It’s a really sad thing to go through this amazing time of my life without having a girlfriend to share it with.  I am blessed with an amazing husband and son, but maybe a girl needs more than that.  

Life really is like a box of chocolates.

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